This self portrait is one of my personal favorites because it signifies such a turning point in my life. I painted Moonlight Dreamer about two years after my ex had left me with two little boys to care for all on my own.
That first year was a very dark time for me that I mostly spent in survival mode. My whole world had turned upside down. My “Happily Ever After” felt stolen away from me. I had no idea how I was going to go on, and I definitely didn’t think I would ever feel happy again.
Time passes…hearts heal. I started to realize that happiness is a choice, and that I needed to allow this to make me a better person or I was going to become a bitter person. So as I started to focus on creating the life I wanted to live, filling our home with love and giving my boys the childhood that I wanted them to remember I reached a new level of peace.
Our lives focused on simple things, and became filled with lovely playdates with the boys, glasses of wine shared with friends, lazy beach days, and yes, still lots of work in between, but suddenly the future looked so much brighter. Slowly it snuck up on me and I found I was happy again. This was my first painting of a new chapter in my life.
I painted at night as my two sweet little boys were sleeping soundly in their beds, and I felt content that they were adjusting so well and turning into such happy little people.
I felt proud of the strength that I had found in myself to refuse to allow them to grow up surrounded by anger and negativity.
I felt thankful for finding peace, and that I could once again dream of a beautiful future.